5/3/12

I was loading the kids up in the car, from being in the grocery store, and I get in the car and started driving home when I realized I was totally smiling. It would have probably looked weird if someone looked at me smiling like that... thinking to themselves... what the heck is that chick smiling about... anyways... I was thinking about how much I love life. I hate to say that life is ALWAYS wonderful, cause its not. I get frustrated with my kids and my husband sometimes. And I am not a perfect person, as we all aren't. I have crappy days like the rest of humankind. So I am not trying to say my life is perfect and ladeedadeeda... but I will say, that I am so incredibly happy in my life. Its not money... its not all the things we have.. its because of the people that I have in my life.

I know I say this like ALL the time... But there is nothing better to me than being a mom. Like honestly, even on my most frustrating and exhausting days, I still love it. I know that I might be weird in that aspect, but I LOVE it. I love the responsibility I have of raising kids. I love LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE (more than I can possibly describe) little babies, esp when they are my own. I love that Heavenly Father's plan was that women were to be mothers and be with their children. Because if I could choose anything in this world to do, I would definitely choose to be a mom.

 I feel like I am very blessed in that regard... I know that motherhood does not come easily to lots of women, and I can totally see why. I mean cleaning up poopy diapers, constantly picking up a messy house, making dinner when you don't want to, being woken up a couple times a night with a sick baby, being screamed at at the store infront of tons of people, you know all the things we deal with on a daily basis is definetetly not the funnest thing in the world by any means. But for some reason I crave it. I love it. (not the screaming though, I can do with out that)
 When I need a break from the kids and I finally get out, I find myself rushing to get back home to see them. And even if I have only been gone 30 minutes, its like the best thing to see their faces get so excited to have me back home. I love being needed. I love that they need me and love me.

I love laughing with my kids. Riley is finally getting to the age where we literally laugh together, and its not me just forcing myself to laugh to make her think I think its funny, I actually have fun with her. I really laugh with her and its so much fun. I love just hanging out with her, esp when its just us two. She loves it too! She loves having one on one time with either me or Nate, and sometimes she gets really clingy when she doesn't get it. I love that about her, I love that she needs us to love her. Man, I love that little girl. I love holding my chunky Cason. I literally could sit all day and just hold that kid. For some reason, he is just like my little man. There is just something so special about him that I just cannot get enough of. I don't know how else to say it but that he is just this special spirit that was sent to us. And we are so lucky.

I just get so overwhelmed with love sometimes that I feel like I need to sit and just write out my feelings like this, so that I can remember how I feel.

Yesterday I watched my brother and sister in laws (Weston & Mallory's) baby. She is the SWEETEST thing ever. It made me SOOO baby hungry. Hahahah Nate's in big trouble, he married a baby hungry wife! Here is some pictures though from when sweet baby Berkely got to come over and play...
look at them staring at each other, is that not so sweet?!
I could die at these pictures. I love them!