I have realized that being a mom, you have to learn to have little expectations.  Don't expect that you are going to have your house spotless, dinner on the table, looking cute, and kids behaving by the time your husband comes home!  I don't think that all those things have EVER happened all at once!
I used to think before I had kids, that life would be so perfect when I started to have kids.  I would stay at home, love on my babies, clean the house, make dinner, and life would be perfect.  I would get up and get ready for the day, then I would play with my kids, then I would clean while they napped, then I would make dinner, then my husband would come home and we would be the cutest family sitting around the dinner table laughing with each other.  Then the kids would go off the bed, me and the husband would cuddle on the couch and then make our way off to bed.
My days are more like this:
Get woken up no later than 6am to Riley saying she wants chocolate milk and cereal, (when the suns up, she's up)  I roll out of bed, get her breakfast, think about how I am gonna make it through the day being this tired.  Then I get up Cason, feed him.  Get ready and hit the gym for an hour (gotta have some time to myself for at least on hour)  Come home, put Cason down, clean up the house.  Get Cason up, Get the kids lunch.  Clean the house again, because lets be real, its been 2 hours since I last cleaned it, so its trashed again.  In between the cleaning and making meals for the kids, get some play time in whether its swimming, dancing to music, reading books, etc.  Put both kids down.  Now I should really clean during this time, but most days I just sit and think about how stinking tired I am.  I turn on Ellen and either blogstalk or pin on Pinterest.  Then I may clean up for a little bit, or I may take a nap... then the kids get up, We play, I clean again, I TRY to make dinner... then Nate comes home to me with my hair a mess, makeup most likely smeared on my face from rubbing  my eyes from being so tired, or no make up at all, and most likely in sweats!  The kids are whining, or going crazy, and we eat dinner while Nate is either having to do homework, or whatever needs to get done.  Then the kids are off the bed.  I clean up again, and watch a little TV with Nate or by myself if he is studying.  Then I got to bed, taking forever to fall asleep, and my day starts all over again.
My life is nothing glamorous, obviously.  Sometimes we stress about money and finances.  Sometimes we don't get a date night for like a month...no good.  I need date night.  But one thing I have learned is that as long as I am doing the stuff in my life that I need to be doing.  Example: scripture, prayer, tithing, and trying to do good in my role as a mother, life always seems to be good.  I always seem to be very content with who I am and what I am doing in my life.  I always seem to be overly in love with my children, and overly overly in love with my husband.  There are things that would be awesome to have in our life right now that we do not have.  And a few years ago i used to think that because I didn't have certain things in my life, then I was nothing, and I had nothing to show.  But I have definetely learned that material things are not the things in life that make us happy.  Its relationships and its people.  Its quality time as a family.  Its kissing and cuddling by babes before they go to bed.  Its dancing to music with Riley cause its her favorite thing to do.  lately I feel like I have been so sentimental about my life.  And I think its just because I am so happy.  I love being happy, and I am so glad that I have 3 people in my life that make me so incredibly happy!


I was loading the kids up in the car, from being in the grocery store, and I get in the car and started driving home when I realized I was totally smiling. It would have probably looked weird if someone looked at me smiling like that... thinking to themselves... what the heck is that chick smiling about... anyways... I was thinking about how much I love life. I hate to say that life is ALWAYS wonderful, cause its not. I get frustrated with my kids and my husband sometimes. And I am not a perfect person, as we all aren't. I have crappy days like the rest of humankind. So I am not trying to say my life is perfect and ladeedadeeda... but I will say, that I am so incredibly happy in my life. Its not money... its not all the things we have.. its because of the people that I have in my life.

I know I say this like ALL the time... But there is nothing better to me than being a mom. Like honestly, even on my most frustrating and exhausting days, I still love it. I know that I might be weird in that aspect, but I LOVE it. I love the responsibility I have of raising kids. I love LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE (more than I can possibly describe) little babies, esp when they are my own. I love that Heavenly Father's plan was that women were to be mothers and be with their children. Because if I could choose anything in this world to do, I would definitely choose to be a mom.

 I feel like I am very blessed in that regard... I know that motherhood does not come easily to lots of women, and I can totally see why. I mean cleaning up poopy diapers, constantly picking up a messy house, making dinner when you don't want to, being woken up a couple times a night with a sick baby, being screamed at at the store infront of tons of people, you know all the things we deal with on a daily basis is definetetly not the funnest thing in the world by any means. But for some reason I crave it. I love it. (not the screaming though, I can do with out that)
 When I need a break from the kids and I finally get out, I find myself rushing to get back home to see them. And even if I have only been gone 30 minutes, its like the best thing to see their faces get so excited to have me back home. I love being needed. I love that they need me and love me.

I love laughing with my kids. Riley is finally getting to the age where we literally laugh together, and its not me just forcing myself to laugh to make her think I think its funny, I actually have fun with her. I really laugh with her and its so much fun. I love just hanging out with her, esp when its just us two. She loves it too! She loves having one on one time with either me or Nate, and sometimes she gets really clingy when she doesn't get it. I love that about her, I love that she needs us to love her. Man, I love that little girl. I love holding my chunky Cason. I literally could sit all day and just hold that kid. For some reason, he is just like my little man. There is just something so special about him that I just cannot get enough of. I don't know how else to say it but that he is just this special spirit that was sent to us. And we are so lucky.

I just get so overwhelmed with love sometimes that I feel like I need to sit and just write out my feelings like this, so that I can remember how I feel.

Yesterday I watched my brother and sister in laws (Weston & Mallory's) baby. She is the SWEETEST thing ever. It made me SOOO baby hungry. Hahahah Nate's in big trouble, he married a baby hungry wife! Here is some pictures though from when sweet baby Berkely got to come over and play...
look at them staring at each other, is that not so sweet?!
I could die at these pictures. I love them!


This Easter

I know for me, being a mom its easy to get caught up in the excitement of Easter! Fun Easter Baskets for the kids, candy, toys, easter egg hunts, good food! I mean Easter is honestly one of my favorite holidays! I love surprising the kids and the husband with fun things on Easter!
Sometimes through all of the fun of this holiday, it is so easy to forget the reason we celebrate Easter. The real reason is because of the infinite Atonement of our Savior, Jesus Christ. I hope that we can all not forget why we are celebrating this day. I hope that for me, I can try to make this holiday celebrate more of Jesus Christ than anything else. I hope that on this Easter Sunday I can sit and think of how great a love the Savior must have for me, and for each of us, to give his life for us. I hope that this Easter I can build and strengthen my testimony even more of the blessings of the atonement, and not just stuff my face with robin's eggs:)
I love the talk from Elder Jeffrey R. Holland, in the April 2009 conference. I remember this talk vividly, and how I felt as he spoke those sweet but tear tugging words.
Here is the talk, and I urge you all to read it.
But I will quote a little of it where he says:

"One of the great consolations of this Easter season is that because Jesus walked such a long, lonely path utterly alone, we do not have to do so....."

"As we approach this holy week—Passover Thursday with its Paschal Lamb, atoning Friday with its cross, Resurrection Sunday with its empty tomb—may we declare ourselves to be more fully disciples of the Lord Jesus Christ, not in word only and not only in the flush of comfortable times but in deed and in courage and in faith, including when the path is lonely and when our cross is difficult to bear. This Easter week and always, may we stand by Jesus Christ “at all times and in all things, and in all places that [we] may be in, even until death,” 21 for surely that is how He stood by us when it was unto death and when He had to stand entirely and utterly alone."

I am grateful for the love of my Savior, and the pain that he endured so that I could return to him, and be with him; through my faithfulness. And be with my family for the rest of eternity! I love the Savior, and pray that I can become more like him, day by day.


Who would have thought that the simplest things in life is what brings me the most happiness. Like watching Riley get SOOOO BEYOND excited because I let her buy some candy at the grocery store. Or watch the look the Cason's face when he sees me walk in the room. Or listening the the funniest things Riley says... where half the time I don't even know where she learned to say it. Or having dinner on the table by the time Nate comes home. And just relaxing with Nate after we put the kids to bed. The most perfect of days seem to be the days where we do almost nothing, but play with each other, Read a million books because Riley is begging us to, Rocking Cason because he LOVES cuddles, having a family dinner where every one is happy.... I cannot get over lately, how much I absolutely love every little piece of my life. There is not one thing that I would change. I can't get over how lucky I am to be where I am in my life, and how blessed I feel to have 3 of the most wonderful human beings to be around every. single. day! I could do this for the rest of eternity.... and be blissfully happy!


Yesterday I saw a friend (Lindsay) at the park with her sister, they are so lucky not only to live so close together, but to be such good friends!
It made me miss my sister Megan so much. She lives in Texas with her three kids and husband. And it doesn't sound like they are coming back anytime soon. We have never lived in the same state since we have both had kids. And I often dream of what it is going to be like when they (hopefully) will finally move back and we can hang out everyday with our kids. And do fun things with our kids together! Or just hang out with the husbands! Go out to lunch, or have a girls night every once in a while.
I miss having a best friend I can count on, or talk to. Most of the time I feel like Nate is the only person I can talk to, and its nice and all, but sometimes you just need girl talk. And I wish I had my sister here so I could have that. I miss her like crazy!
So Megan, how about you just ditch the whole stay in Texas thing, and move back... I mean whats more important.... come on! hahaha
I love you Megan, and glad I am blessed to have a sister so non-judgemental, kind, and carefree as you! You honestly are the most 'go with the flow' person I know! Love you!


This is why I don't mind having a sick baby. Cuddle time becomes our daily activity. And honestly, you can't argue with that!
Even though housework gets pushed aside for a couple days, and Nate having to pick up dinner on his way home from work. It just means that I have spent my day loving me some Cason boy.
When this boy is sick, his medicine is laying on mommy's chest, in the yellow rocking chair, holding mom's hair, sucking his thumb, with my hand over his head-holding him close, and rocking back and forth. To him it is better than any type of medicine (that his 6 month body is allowed to take) can make him feel.


Today I was remembering back to when me and Nate first started dating...

I was so obsessed. I didn't want to admit it, I tried to pretend I wasn't, but I was, I was so in love with him.

A couple days after he moved here he took me to Tempe Town Lakes and told me that he wanted to marry me and that he would seriously marry me tomorrow. Dumb old me, I said that I wanted to date around and I wasn't sure what I wanted... Of course I knew what I wanted!

But in a way I am kinda glad it happened that way! Nate started "chasing" after me. He would call me during the day, and tell me he was thinking about me, he would text me, he would always tell me when we were together how much he liked me and the things that he liked about me! He worked hard to win me over!

Of course it only lasted about a week before I told him I wanted to marry him as well. But he didn't stop doing those things! When we were engaged he would always text me during the day and tell me that he couldn't wait till he got to marry me, or that we could finally just be together all the time, and he could wake up to me next to him! I remember getting butterfly's every time he would say those things to me.

I remember a while after we got married... I missed the excitement of first dating someone and being so excited to go out on dates with them! I missed the anxiousness of waiting to see him, or the butterfly's I would get when he would hold my hand!

But the longer we are married it seems the more in love with him I fall. With each new baby we have, our love grows so much stronger. He told me tonight that he couldn't wait to have another baby cause he is so crazy about our two now, that he knows how much his love will be with the next, and the next. And it is so true, when Riley came into our life my capacity of love grew so much! It was so much love that it almost hurts when you think about it. The kind of love that just the thought of loss causes so much pain that you can't hold back the tears. Then when Cason came into our lives, I looked at him with so much love. My heart had grown even more. Its strange how much my heart is capable of loving. And not only does your heart grow in love with each child, but your heart grows with love for your spouse. It just keeps growing.

This kind of love is fun, and its exciting!

Tonight I got the kids ready for bed, and Nate went and picked us up some food (this is our "at-home-dates")

After we ate, we sat and watched a movie, and Nate started to tickle my arms.... (my favorite thing ever).... and I got butterfly's in my stomach!

I love being in love!


I feel like I am living a dream. How could these two children possibly be all mine? How could I be so blessed to call them mine?

How can I ever express how much I love them.....
How much each one of them means to me.....

Riley is my friend....she is my best friend...
And Cason has stolen my heart from the first time I laid eyes on him, and does it everytime he looks into my eyes.

I will never let a day go by that I don't express my love and gratitude to my Heavenly Father for blessing me with these angels.

I am so blessed with healthy, happy, children, and I will cherish them for the rest of my life.


I am always so inspired by woman who have like 6 kids, and are always the first to volunteer to do anything! Like the kind of woman who if another mom has a baby, she is the first to go pick up her other kids and watch them for a day even though she has several kids of her own. Or finds out someone is sick, and is there that day fixing them a meal of cleaning their house.

I have always wanted to strive to be that woman. I have always wanted people to know that they can count on me to do anything for them even though it may not be convenient. Life is never convenient. There is always something going on. Especially with kids!

There have been a couple times where I have told Nate that I want to be this type of mom, woman, and friend. But then life gets in the way and an opportunity for me to serve will arise and something will be going on where I think, oh I can't this time, but next time something happens I can help this person, or do this (whatever it may be)

But today in Relief society we were singing the closing song. And let me tell you, when I started singing and reading the words, tears started streaming down my face. The ladies around me were probably wondering what the heck was the matter with me. I have heard this song, I couldn't tell you how many times, but the words were as sharp as knife, and I realized what the heck am I waiting around for? Why do I just say I want to serve others, and be there for others when they need help..... Why can't I just do it.? So my new goal, starting now, is to serve others, not think it, not say it, not attempt it, but DO it!!

Have I done any good in the world today?
Have I helped anyone in need?
Have I cheered up the sad and made someone feel glad?
If not, I have failed indeed.
Has anyone’s burden been lighter today
Because I was willing to share?
Have the sick and the weary been helped on their way?
When they needed my help was I there?

Then wake up and do something more
Than dream of your mansion above.
Doing good is a pleasure, a joy beyond measure,
A blessing of duty and love.

There are chances for work all around just now,
Opportunities right in our way.
Do not let them pass by, saying, “Sometime I’ll try,”
But go and do something today.
’Tis noble of man to work and to give;
Love’s labor has merit alone.
Only he who does something helps others to live.
To God each good work will be known.


Recently I have come across this blog.
This sweet family lost their daughter in an accident in 2010.
I cannot imagine the devastation. My heart aches for families who have lost a child.
It truly puts life into perspective for me.
I will hug my kids more and tell them I love them. And I will try and be more patient with them, because I would take the stress and mess than not have it.
I will try to document our life more, make funner memories, and write them down. I will pull out the camera more often. I will love them more.
I am grateful for the faith and testimonies of families like this.
They show such strength that I feel I could never have.

Now I need to go kiss my babies again while they lay quietly sleeping.


I have loved blogging lately.
Its kinda my escape from all the crazyness.
During kids naptimes or bedtime I love to sit here and regroup and think of all the positive things that have happened.
It helps me stay focused on the positive things of my day instead of the negative.
Writing my feelings down sort of recharges me as a mom...
I know that one day I will look back at this and remember how much fun I had being a young mom.
And I will remember all the hard times I had as well.
Cause lets be honest. Being a mom, wife, and homemaker is hard and demanding.
You never have time for yourself. By the time the kids are in bed then it is time to give your time and self to your husband.
Sometimes you just wanna crawl in bed and go to sleep, but you know that your husband needs your time and attention.
These past couple days I haven't so much as walked outside my house to see the sunlight with the kids being sick and all (and now I am coming down with it..yay!!)
So today, I decided it was time to get out.
I packed up my runny nose children in their p.j's into the stroller, put my tennis shoes on and went for a walk.
The sunshine and cool breeze made me smile pretty much the whole walk.
I love being outside in this kind of weather.
I went to take Riley to see her favorite thing... the horse on McLellan st!
Riley laughed and laughed.......until the head stuck his head right next to hers, then she said,"ok, bye bye horsey!!! hahaha she is hilarious! Last time Nate took her to see the horse, he said the horse stuck its head right in her face, and she stiffed up and pointed to Cason saying,(in a worried voice, "His name is Cason, His name is Cason, Look." hahah she was trying to point the horses direction over to Cason because she was afraid when he was all the sudden right next to her! She seriously says the funniest things!

I'm in major love with that girl lately! She is my BEST FRIEND!

Tonight, I kept her up past her bedtime, because she wanted to snuggle, so we laid on the couch and snuggled.... I loved it. I love her.


Had the funnest night the other night with Nate! Went to my cousin's wedding, which she was absolutely STUNNING!!! Her dress was to die for!
But me and Nate had such a fun time being with out the kiddo's.
We laughed our heads off most the night.
Mostly because Nate is a goofball, a MAJOR goofball.
He sometimes isn't even meaning to make me laugh, but just the way he says something I can't help but crack up.
I love joking around with him! He makes me laugh more than anyone else can.
He is pretty much hilarious without even trying...

Lately he has been so lovey dovey with me! I love it. My love language is definately affection! And he knows it. We think its funny to kiss in front of Riley because she is starting to get really embarrassed when we do it, and she usually says hey, mommy, no snuggling with daddy, so then we kiss some more.
Tonight Nate was telling me how much he loves me, and the reason he always kisses me in front of the kids is because he wants them to know how much he loves me. Isn't that just the sweetest thing ever! I may have teared up when he said that!
I love that man more than I could ever imagine loving someone.
I am so blessed to have him as my husband. Its kinda crazy how perfect we are for each other. There really isn't one thing that we don't agree on when it comes to parenting, life, marriage and the gospel. He said that was one thing that made him realize he wanted to marry me was because he had never dated a girl where everything I believed in was exactly in line to what he believes. I love him soooo much! He is such a hard worker!
The other night I was thinking of ways I could earn money cause I wish he didn't have to work so hard and he could focus more on school and he said, I don't want you to work. I don't need you to work, I just want you to be able to be here with the kids, and not only be here but mentally be there for them as well.
I cannot tell you how much it means to me to have a husband who is willing to work 50+ hours a week on top of a full schedule at school, all so that he can provide and work towards providing a better living for our family. And so that I can be able to stay at home and raise our babies! It means the world to me.
I have the perfect husband! Because to me, the perfect spouse isn't literally a perfect person, because he is not perfect, and I am definetely not perfect, but he TRIES HIS HARDEST to be the perfect husband and a better person, and that to me is a perfect person!

One a side note...
So Riley is pretty much as sick as I have ever seen her.
she has and infection in both eyes...a horrible cough... horrible snotty nose, and a high fever!
Poor little girl!

The perk of a sick child though... Benedryl makes them calm and happy:) So I will take the calm and happy even though it means letting her sleep in bed with us while she kicks us, and waking up a couple times a night with her to give her a bath because her eyes are stuck shut! Hope she does get better soon.... Cause there is nothing I hate more than seeing a helpless child because they don't really understand why they are feeling so sick...

Just my cute babe's:)




I don't know if I am ever going to be done having babies. I keep freaking out in my head that I am gonna have a million babies because how can I ever be OK being done having them!
I honestly do not know if I will ever be ok with it. I hope I will though, for my own sanity. Maybe just 3 more... I just have to convince the husband!
But isn't it strange how you can spend your day changing poopy diapers and nursing every 3 hours and cleaning up the messes your kids make and making food for them and yet through all of the crazyness you can't get enough of it. (Of your kids I mean) I defenetely have enough of cleaning sometimes!
I told Nate tonight as I was getting the kids ready for bed that I wish I could take a day off of being a mom. But the truth is that I couldn't be gone for more than 2 hours with out dying to come home and be with my babies.
It feel like I can't hold and rock Cason enough.
I can't kiss his chubby cheeks enough.
I can't laugh enough with Riley.
I can't read her books enough!
I just soak in all the precious moments I have with them, cause I know how fast it goes by.
So I have to tell myself to stop cleaning sometimes and turn on music and dance with Riley.
Or sit down and just relax with out feeling guilty and hold and rock Cason!
And be patient with Riley cause I am her teacher, and she follows my example... (Even though it is REALLY hard sometimes)
I wish I was a better mom sometimes but I know that I am doing the best I can.
And I love the crazyness being a mom brings!


Look at that face! I could just smooch on it all day!

Every day this past week one of the kids wakes up literally once the clock strikes 5am.
And I have not been to bed before 11pm all week.
So to say I am ehausted is an understatement.
Cason usually sleeps from 8:30pm-8:00am. So when he woke up last Tuesday at 5am I just figured he was hungry and it was a one day thing. We have also had the flu in our house so I figure he might not be feeling well. Well it has now been a week.
so last night I told Nate to grab the ear plugs, Cause I was going to let him cry so he can get back on schedule.
So I go to bed early... (sort of) and I finally fall asleep(it takes me a while) and then we hear a scream... I look up at the clock and its only 11pm. OH MY GOSH!!! I need my sleep!! Nate knows I do so he gets up. Riley somehow had banged her eye and took a huge chunk of skin off. It looked pretty bad. So Nate stayed up with her and tried to put her back to bed! I guess it took till 1:30!
Then Cason woke up at 5:00. We let him cry. He only whined for about 15 minutes. Then slept till 8!
As I layed there while he was whining I just kept thinking about how I feel like it just never ends.
Being a mom is a non stop job! You NEVER get a brake.
you go to bed late cause that is the only time you get to spend with your husband.
You wake up early cause the kids are sick.
You then get sick! And you still have to watch kids.
Its difficult! But its ok! Cause we love them.
I found this on Pinterest though.. It makes me laugh! And it is so true!

Having Nate makes the hard times a lot easier!
I love him
I love all he does for me
I love that he doesn't make me feel like a crazy person even though sometimes I am
I love that sometimes when he comes home to a messy house and no dinner, he doesn't say anything or get upset.
I love my man!

1/29/11: Nate and I were wrestling on the couch! One of our past times... haha But Nate kept pushing the pillow in my face so I finally punched him in the leg (this is all fun.. just fyi) and Riley sees me do it and she says "HEY!!! Stop that!!" and then she said, word for word, "You say sorry to daddy mommy!" Hahaha most hilarious thing I think I have ever heard come out of her mouth!!


I know I always talk about how I love being a mom on here, so I'm sorry. But someday I would like to look back at this blog and remember all the fun times I had being a mom to babies! Cause its no secret that being a mom is tough... really tough. Most of the time it is hard and stressful! But during those hard and stressful times its nice to kinda look at my life and realize what I am blessed with!
So the other day I was sick as a dog... don't really understand that expression, but I was REALLY sick! I had the worst migraine and was soooo nauseous. But Cason was off schedule )since it was sunday and we have 11 oclock church) so he wasn't having it with naptime... he layed in his crib talking to himself for about an hour, until I finally went and got him. I decided to let him sleep with me and I would nurse him to sleep. He fell asleep after about 5 secs. (He is my little cuddle bug... that kid will cuddle with you anytime of the day... and if he is tired and you are cuddling with him.. he will go to sleep so peacefully, and you can tell he just loves it) so anyway here I am sick as a dog, and here I have this beautiful little boy next to me sleeping so soundly, and even though I was so sick and just wanted to rest, I could not take my eyes off of him. I just layed there for about two hours just cuddling with him, and staring at his perfect face, thinking about how much I absolutely LOVE this little boy. he seriously steals my heart away EVERYTIME I look at him. I love him more than I ever thought I could love anything. He is my little mamma's boy! I seriously, no joke, cry probably once a week when I am looking at his sweet face and he is looking at me, because I know that in a very short amount of time he will be as big as his big sister, and will not just lay there in my arms, and let me kiss him for the hundredth millionth time that day. he wont need me as much as he needs me now. It breaks my heart to see him grow so fast! I wish that I could just press pause on the clock and have him like this for a long time!
And then I have this other little sweet baby. well sweet toddler. She loves to push my buttons, but I love everything about her sweet sassy personality! She has a mind of her own! She can be the sweetest most loving little girl. Probably about ten times a day, she tells me "I love you" it is usually when she has done something that she knows I am upset about and she is trying to lighten the mood. But I love it when she says it anways!
I truly love my kids with all of my heart! I didn't know a love could be so strong. I thought before I had Cason that I wasn't sure if I was going to be able to love him as much as I loved Riley.. and I was really afraid. But now that he is here I am amazed at how much my heart is capable of loving. My love has only grown EVEN MORE for Nate, for Riley, and now for my Cason! I love my family.
The other day on skype I was telling my mother-in-law!! (most awesome mom in law ever) all the funny things Riley says! And she suggested that I write them down cause I will forget them. So I really hope that a couple times a week I can sit down between nursing, cleaning, feeding, and kids napping, to write down some memories! And hopefully get my dang camera out every now and then and snap a few pictures.. poor Cason is going to be mad when he sees a million pictures of his older sister and only a few of him! Better get on that!!


My last post, life was pretty hard! Well, I guess having a newborn baby was hard! Cason has graduated into the fun, perfect, easiest baby in the world stage! I am seriously in love with him! He makes my day every time I look at him! I swear Heavenly Father knew that I needed an easy baby so that I could have time to deal with a sassy 2 year old! Riley is the funniest, most independent little girl you will meet. She could talk your ear off for hours! Everything, and I mean everything she sees now she apparently loves. The other day she was in the bedroom asking "Whats that?" I would answer..."That is a book." and her reply would be " I LOVE IT" it is hilarious! She has also been getting a regular dose of Tabasco sauce! Yes, she has got some lungs! And she definitely knows how to use them! I'm sorry for my lack of pictures. Our memory card just got full, and I haven't had the time to go get a new one, so i have been taking pictures on my phone!


Yesterday was one of those days where I couldn't help but think, is this really my life? I was sitting there covered in spit up, Cason was screaming cause he was so tired and kept fighting his naps, and Riley was standing there in a poopy diaper that had been needed changed for far too long, hitting me because she wanted ANOTHER fruit snack that I kept giving her because I just needed her to be quite long enough for Cason to just fall asleep! I haven't slept more than 5 hours a night since Cason was born and Im sick! I just wanted to cry! I feel like if I could just go into my room maybe three times a day and cry for just 10 minutes, then I would feel better! I want to give up on nursing because I feel like it rules my life, and Im just tired! I want to be able to take a shower at LEAST every other day. I cant even get a second to take a 5 minute shower! I want to take a relaxing shower! I can't seem to even get in a shower unless Riley is with me, asking me to give her soap every 5 seconds and tripping over her and her yelling at me cause Im in her way!
Even when I actually get out, or me and Nate get to go on a date, I sometimes don't even enjoy it cause I am constantly worrying about the kids, and if Cason is crying for who is watching him. Or if he is asleep I can't help but get upset that I am out, while he is sleeping perfectly in his bed, which is my only time for sleep and now I am missing out on my oppurtunity to actually get some rest. I just keep telling myself its all worth it. And I know that it is, its just hard sometimes. Last night, Riley wanted me to read her a story before she went to bed, so I read her a story while she laughed at the way I read it. Then as I brushed her teeth she wanted me to give her a hug after ever brush. So I would brush a little and then she would hug me, and brush then hug. We were both laughing. Then we said prayers and she sat there and hugged me as I said the prayer. She went to bed perfectly, as she always does. But as I closed the door, she said: "Mommy!!! I wanna Kiss" so I go back to kiss her for the hundredth time and she smiles and then snuggles up and gets all comfy to fall asleep. I go and feed Cason. While Im feeding him I just kept thinking I cant wait till he is done and asleep so I can just lay down my achy body. and then I realize the sheets are still in the washer, not even dry yet. Then Nate comes home early from school! I was so happy to see his face! He starts cleaning up the hundreds of diapers all over the place and cleans everything spottless. I'm sure he doesn't know what it meant to me, but it meant a lot. Then I finally got the baby to sleep and we went to grab a quick bite to eat, while my mom watched the kids. We laughed a lot. It was good for me. I Love him. He is seriously my best friend. I love spending time with him. I love how goofy he is and he doesn't even know it. I love when he comes into a room I'm in and he will just give me a touch on the back to know that he loves me. I love how I get to sleep next to him every night, and feel safe. I love his cute face! I just love him more and more every time I see him! And I love knowing that he loves me just the same! Even though he comes home to me with spit up and poop stains on my shirt, and I am in my sweats for the hundredth time with my hair a mess and sometimes my makeup on and smeared from the day before!
When we went to bed and we gave each other a good night kiss I couldn't help but get little butterfly's that I am going to be with this man for the rest of eternity!

And then Cason woke up for his feeding about 4am. I love this baby more than I can even describe. He woke up to eat, and halfway through I notice through my sleepy eyes that he is just starring at me. when he was finally done, he just layed there smiling and gigging at me. Even though it was 4 in the morning, I couldnt put him back in his bed. Even though I was so tired that my eyes were stinging and my head was spinning, I just layed there next to him whispering to him and kissing him. And he just kept smiling at me until he finally fell asleep.

I know that most days are not easy. But I love every second I get to be there with my kids and they get to be here with me. I love being their mom. I love teaching Riley, even though it results in putting her in timeout a minimum of probably 10 times a day, but I know that she is learning. I see it everyday. I love being there for Cason, and I love knowing that he needs his mommy. And although sometimes its not the funnest job in the world, I love it. I wouldn't do it any other way!

In church on Sunday we had the BEST lesson in relief society about the second coming. I was sitting there thinking about the judgment day and thinking what do I even do now to be a good person and go the extra mile to help or serve someone. But I started thinking about 2 little people that I serve all day long. It made me start to cry. Because I got this overwhelming feeling that I am taking care of Heavenly Father's babies! And that I was entrusted with these sweetest spirits to teach and to raise and to comfort when they are sad or hurt, (or hungry:)) I want to do the best job that I can, because I know that I am doing it for Him. The scripture that says, "Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these My brethren, ye have done it unto Me." And I know that this applies to me as well being a mom. I love my family and I love Savior. I am grateful for the blessings I have been given in my life, and even though my life is not easy, I do know that it is all worth every second of hearing a baby cry, or changing a poopy diaper.

Sorry this is probably a long post, I just wanted to write down how I was feeling.


Sorry for the lack of updating this!! We had our little boy, Cason C Howard... he is wonderful! The best little boy I could have asked for!!! I will try to get pictures up soon! But this will have to do for now!!


So mothers day looked a lot like this for me:

Riley was sick for like a week straight! Was not fun at all! I feel so bad for her when she gets sick! But Nate did surprise me with this!

All the things meant something. The bath salt meant he was going to give me a massage, cause I LOVE getting them and he doesn't like giving them, so it was a good present. The cards meant he was going to play a game with me.... hahah sounds dumb, but I always beg him to play games, and if anyone knows Nate, you know he hate's games (even though i secretly know he likes them once he's playing he just wont admit it) and the "sugar mommies" was just cause! He was quite creative! It was cute! And the card was from Riley aka Nate haha!
Oh and Nate stayed home with Riley so I could go to church! And let me tell ya, it felt so good to be able to sit through an entire sacrament meeting! I have learned that that is one of the greatest things once you have kids, is actually being able to go to church and enjoy it! So enjoy it all you with out kids! Don't take it for granted!
Anyways Riley is now feeling better (FINALLY!!!) and so we've been able to do some fun things! We pretty much go swimming everyday once I'm done working! Its nice now that its getting hot enough to swim! And its nice swimming when your hot and pregnant! This pregnancy is going by so fast! The other day I was sitting in the car and I was like man, why am I already so big, and so uncomfortable, Im just barely pregnant and I feel SO huge! And my friend said, "you know your like 6 months along and your due in like 3 1/2 months!" I sorta freaked out thinking holy cow, am I seriously already that far already! Im not sure if Im ready for this! But ready or not, here come September, we are going to have 2!
Here is a pic of Riley cause its pretty much the only one I have taken in like months, but this is what you can find her doing EVERY minute of EVERYDAY (that we are home that is)

Reading her new favorite "buggies book" as she calls it from Nate's mom!

And to continue on with the blog challenge:
Day #5
5. engagement/bridal pictures: let's see em!


Day #4

4. The ring: tell us about it! did you pick it out? did he? pictures! tell us about his ring too!

The ring! The most important part of the wedding right? Hahah just kidding! But VERY important to a girl!

Well, I know lots of girls want to be surprised by the ring, and have their fiance pick it out for them and everything, but not me!!! I am a pretty picky girl. I'm not like a snobby picky, (don't want to make that impression by this post) I just have always had a vision of what I wanted my ring to look like. So Nate was totally cool with that, so we went ring shopping, and I remember feeling so weird, and so young. People who worked at the jewelry stores would look at us twice to see if it was a joke! Haha But it was fun!

So I totally had in my mind what I wanted but then we went to a jewelry store and I fell in love with this band! So me and Nate sorta both designed my ring off this band that I loved! And we were talking to the guy that worked there and he was saying he could do it, but it was going to be really pricey! Well we went home, not making a commitment b/c of the price. But a few days later, kinda weird that this happened at this exact time, my mom was in the bank and this guy was in there and they struck up a conversation, and guess what??? He is an lds guy who designs and custom makes rings! Guess what else??? he did the ring for us for like 1/3 of the price of JUST THE BAND at the other store with out all the extra stuff we were going to do to it! I was so happy! So he made the ring for us and it was ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL and even better than I imagined!!

I don't have a picture from when I first got it, so this picture taken from my phone, with my swollen pregnant fingers will have to do :)


Day 3:
Proposal: how it happened, how long were you engaged for? was it a total surprise? pictures of that... etc

Ummmm.... hahaha the proposal was nothing big at all. I feel bad saying that cause I feel bad for Nate, cause I am a really hard girl to surprise!
But... we were already technically engaged when we got engaged! B/c I am a picky girl I was picky on my ring. So we got it custom made which took forever!!! So we had already been telling people we were engaged for months when he "officially" proposed! So for a few nights I guess he kept trying to surprise me, but I always knew he was up to something, so I was all nosey and trying to figure everything out! So I guess I ruined the FUN proposal! And Nate knew I was really anxious to get the ring, just decided to propose!
So one morning, I woke up about 6am to a light shining in my face, and Nate saying "look at it, look at it". He said I looked like a zombie waking up, but my excuse is that you cant be woken up with a light shining in your face! I couldn't even see anything! So after a few seconds of getting my vision back! There was Nate kneeling next to me, with the ring in the box(with a light, hence the light) and him saying over and over, "look at it!" So i looked at the ring, and it was more beautiful than I could have imagined! So Nate told me to put it on, so I did, but you know how your fingers are swollen in the morning?? Ya well it didn't fit! He started freaking out and I was trying to calm him down while happy freaking out that I got the ring! And I could wear it now! (not yet since my fingers needed to unswell) Ha so there is Nate laying on the ground all mad that he finally gets me the ring and it doesn't fit! And then he stops, and says, "Oh ya, will you marry me?" Hahah and we both just laughed! So that's our proposal story!

Oh and we were engaged for 4 months! Longest engagement EVER!!! Don't recommend a long engagement to anyone! Not fun! I just wanted to be married! My mom suggested that we get married a month and a half earlier than our set date, but I was a little nervous, cause I guess people were gonna think I was crazy and I guess I thought b/c we didn't date long at all, that I needed to have a longer engagement. She told me I was going to regret it! And boy oh boy did I regret it when that time came around!!!

I don't have any pictures of the proposal, but I have this picture from when we were engaged, and Ill post it, Cause this was a fun day!! Haha love our purple wet suits!

Day #2:

When you knew he was the one: self explanatory.. but how and when did you know?

This is actually a really hard question for me, cause I don't to sound dumb and be like 'it was love at first sight'! But honestly for me, even when Nate was on his mission, I always felt something different towards him than I have ever felt before. I think that it was Heavenly father telling me that something was really special about this boy. And if I wouldn't have done certain things, like run to my mom and rush her to invite them over when Nate came back to visit, or go to California when he invited me, even though it scared me to death to go somewhere I don't know and spend an a week with people I don't know (B/c under normal circumstances I would NEVER do anything like that!!) But if I wouldn't have done all those things I don't think me and Nate would have ever gotten married.

But then when I went out to California, the feeling I had when I was with him, just talking about life, and talking about what I want out of life, and what he wanted, I felt so right about him! And I came home seriously thinking that it was going to work out. When it didn't at first, it was actually really hard for me! I know that sounds so dumb! Like I was just some young girl with a big crush thinking 'OH I am going to marry him!' But as time went on, he was ALWAYS in the back of my head!

After he came down to visit for a week and then moved back and that first night he took me out and pretty much proposed to me. I remember sitting there, sorta like I was in this dream, and the man who I wanted to marry was now professing his love to me! I just remember feeling so special, and I was just imagining every day of the rest of my life with Nate, and as he sat there telling me he wanted to marry me, I knew that he was the one! Ha I dont know why I said the things I did after he told me he wanted to marry me. I was honestly just so scared. I dont know why I was so scared! I was just terrified that I knew now who I was going to marry and that it was happening so fast! But I would say that that was the night that I knew with everything in me that he was the one!


Day#1 (see post below)
1. how it all began: how you met, first date, first kiss, how long did you date? first picture together.....etc.

How we met:
Nate served his mission here in good ole Mesa! The first time I saw him was when he came over with his companion Elder Walz for dinner and a family missionary message!(I was a junior in highschool) I remember right when I saw him I had a MAJOR crush! Then he started talking out of the side of his mouth and in a "California surfer" accent (he is from California, and is a surfer) and I seriously was IN LOVE!!!! Seriously Ask all the girls in my ward, I always talked about him:)
Kinda embarassing to admit, but I knew where the missionaries lived, so I would go out of my way on my way home from almost anything, to drive past their house in the hopes of catching them outside so I could admire Elder Howard!!!
And just in case anyone is wondering, NOTHING happend ever on his mission, no flirting, hardly any talking, unless he was asking me question about the gospel or asking me to invite someone to listen to the discussions and it was always in front of my family! So just to clear that up:)
But luckily my parents are into missionary work and my mom sometimes does missionaries hair, so I did get to see him quite frequently! And he was in our stake for 9 months, which is like 3-4 transfers straight! And that doesn't ever really happen! I could go on and on about little encounters but they are probably only fun to me!
One TOTALLY weird side note: that 1st night they came over, I said to my family as they shut the door to leave, "welp, I just met my future husband"! Little did I know, I really had!!!

First date:

Well it was more like a first REALLY LONG date! what happened was, well let me give you a little side preview. After 'Elder Howard' went home in February of 2007, he came back to visit in March! And luckily he came to our ward to visit! And I happened to spot him by the bishops office when I got out of Young Womens! I seriously booked it into Relief Society to grab my mom so she could tell them to come over to our house to visit! They ended up coming over that night & stayed awhile! I seriously was smitten by him! There was just something about him that I LOVED!! His whole countenance was just like, I dont even know how to describe it! But I was just totally head over heels for this guy! Anyways so they left, but he left his cell # with my mom so they could stay in touch! If you know my mom she is friends with everyone and loves to talk to people (more like talk their ear off) but it doesn't sound weird that she got his number if you knew my mom! So they talked a few times and my mom mentioned to him that if he ever came back to mesa for a visit that he should take me out (THANKS MOM!!!) So he said "well hey, my family goes to a lake house every memorial weekend! Why dont you send her out!" So he called me and asked me to come out to California to spend almost and ENTIRE week with his family at a lake house! Well it happened to be the day after I graduated that i would leave! So I spent 5 days with him and his family & I loved EVERYTHING about him and his family, and I know this sounds weird considering how long I knew him, but it was like I knew I was supposed to be there and I felt so comfortable and I seriously thought I am meant to marry this person! Well I came home from that trip telling my mom we better start planning my wedding ASAP! Cause I KNEW Nate Howard was the man I wanted and was supposed to marry!!:)

How long did you date?:
Well lets just say coming home from that trip, I didnt start planning my wedding! Basically long story short, Nate met someone a week before I went out there, and then they started dating sometime after I left. And so pretty much almost a year goes by, here I am moving on with my life without him :( and then all the sudden he calls me and tells me he is coming in town. I was sorta dating someone else at this point but it wasnt official, So i went out with him a couple times while he was down, and though I will say they were the best dates in my life, I pretty much went into it with a closed heart because I didnt want to fall madly in love with him again for him just to leave and not call me again! Well I guess this time he had the experience I had had the first time! Cause he called me 5 days after he had gone home and told me he was moving to Mesa in 2 days, and he was moving there becuase of me! So the day he got down here he took me to Tempe Town lakes and got takeout from Outback and we went and ate and sat along the lake and here is the gist of what he said to me, "I know that I am supposed to marry you, and I want to marry you, I have never felt like this in my life, and if you say yes, I will marry you tomorrow!!" Now just think, we had spent, up until this time a total of 8 dates/days together!!! Well here is what I said back to him, "Im not sure what I want, and I sort of want to date around!!" He said it was like someone kicked him in the gut! Now what I was thinking: I knew I wanted and was supposed to marry him! But I was FREAKED out! When getting married is all the sudden a reality it really scared me, and I was still a little hurt when he hadnt called me for almost an entire year after I had fallen madly in love with him! Well long story short the whole dating other people thing went like this, go out with Nate, every single night, because I couldnt stand not to, and then go out with that other guy I was dating on the side after I would come home from being with Nate! Hahah I know i was dumb! But It went on for a week and a half until I finally told the other guy I was gonna marry Nate and I told Nate I wanted to be exclusive! So we became bf/gf on a Tuesday! That weekend we went to six flags where I fell more in love with him, and now had no doubt in my mind I was supposed to marry him! So that Monday (6 days later) Me and him were sitting on my couch and we decided to get married! Basically just told each other we wanted to marry each other and thats when we started telling people we were engaged!!! So from the time he moved down there to the time we got engaged was I think 2 weeks and 5 days!!!

First Kiss:
I know people are going to think we are crazy! but our first kiss was the night we got engaged! So this is how it happened! After we decided to get married we were cuddling on the couch and we were talking about it and I said, "well now that we are getting married, we should probably kiss!!" Ya think? haha so us both being too shy we let the whole night go on getting a couple times close to kissing but didnt, so as I walked him out to his car I was like "Ok seriously we have to kiss!!" so Nate was like ok lets kiss! And we would almost kiss but then he would get all awkward and would be like "well what kind of kiss are you expecting, are you expecting just a kiss or tongue or like a peck??" So I was just like "just let whatever happen!" So he was like "ok on the count of three lets kiss!" So he held my face with his two hands and said "one, two, three!" and then leaned his head in with his lips pouched and his eyes closed! But didnt go all the way! So I laughed a little with him and his pouched lips and eyes shut, holding my face, and had to lean in the rest of the way for the kiss! And let me tell you, It was the best kiss EVER!!!!!

First picture together:
This picture was about a week after he moved down to mesa, it was General Conference and we were eating lunch between sessions!


So I never blog right? And I want to start because I want a place to come back to with fun memories of our family! So i saw this cute blog challenge on a friends blog, and I am going to copy her and do it here! And hopefully (fingers crossed) it will get me in the habit of blogging!

So here is the challenge: (its about me and my favorite person in the world!!)

1. how it all began: how you met, first date, first kiss, how long did you date? first picture together.....etc.
2. when you knew he was the one: self explanatory.. but how and when did you know?
3. proposal: how it happened, how long were you engaged for? was it a total surprise? pictures of that... etc.
4. the ring: tell us about it! did you pick it out? did he? pictures! tell us about his ring too!
5. engagement/bridal pictures: let's see em!
6. the colors: show some of the flower and colors you used
7. the dress: was it what you always imagined? did you have it made for you? white or ivory?
8. the little accessories: you know, veil? shoes? jewelry? what did your bridesmaids wear?
9. the reception: where was it at? show us some pictures! what day did you get married?
10. the cake/food: i love food. so tell me about what you had at your wedding!
11. your song and/or the first song you danced to at your wedding: share a music video or lyrics if you can!
12. favorite part of the day and least favorite part of the day: can be anything.
13. honeymoon: where did you go? was it good? ;) haha...jk.
14. thoughts on marriage: what is the easiest/hardest part? if you could change anything, what would it be?
15. first place that you lived together: pics if you have them!
16. kids: do you have any yet? if not, when do you plan on it? how many do you want? any tips on good/bad birth control?
17. most recent picture of you and your significant other and what you love most about them :) and any other thoughts.



We found out we are having a boy!!!

Nate really wanted a girl, but i had a feeling this one was going to be a boy! And I have been really excited!

Nate says now that we are going to have a boy and girl that he is fine if thats all we have. I just laugh! Hahaha

I am still nervous about having another baby, and all the things that come along with a newborn. I guess Im mostly scared about the lack of sleep Im about to have! And now that I already have one this time around, there will be no napping while the baby naps! But hopefully this one will be a sleeper:)

Riley now thinks that her tummy is called baby! We show her where "baby brother" is but she thinks she has a baby too!


New Post??

I think Im long overdue for a new post! Sorry... still not a lot of pictures but here's whats been going on around here:

Christmas in Cali:

Nate's mom made these pajama bottoms..... SOOOO CUTE!!!

Came home Jan 2nd: Found out I was pregnant!!!!!

Jan-March: Felt really sick..... being pregnant is not fun! well at least not right now!

Feb: Riley and I went to texas to visit my sister and her new baby!! (and 2 other kids and husband)

And last but not least!! Watching Riley grow up before my eyes!!

She says lots of new words like:
ummm... thats all i can think of right now I know there is more but i cant remember
most of the time me and Nate are the only ones that can understand her though. but it is cute! sometimes she will say a phrase and I like stop what im doing and think "did you really just say that" I think she talks alot more than we know we just dont understand her! She is very smart and it makes me sad (but excited) that she is growing up so fast!!
I have been trying to savor every moment I have until the new baby comes (September 8th) while it is just me and her! Im scared that having a new baby is going to take my attention away from her, I know it will all work out and everything will be ok but it still makes me a little sad that its not just gonna be me and my little girl anymore, all to ourselves! But dont get me wrong!!! I am SOOOO excited to have another baby! I am starting to get really baby hungry everytime I see a new baby!

Nate is still working and going to school, and doing a fantastic job and being a wonderful father, provider, and husband! Esp dealing with me being sick and coming home (most days) to a messy house and no food :( I feel bad for the guy! But now that I am starting to feel better I am keeping (trying) the house spotless (as much as i can with a toddler) and cooking dinner! Infact, got some steak marinating in the fridge!!! (ha this is the first night I have actually prepared something in a looong time)!!!

But hopefully I will keep updating this blog so that everyone can see how we are doing! But for now, we are doing fantastic!!!


Yes, its a rat!

Do you see that???? Yes that is a RAT!!!!! Last night we were at Nate's work christmas party and we played white elephant!! Well guess what we opened up when it was our turn??? Yes thats right, a RAT!!! in a cage!!!!! I was pretty much freaking out, but Nate was so excited and praying no one would steal it! and they didnt! so we went home with it! When Riley woke up I showed her the rat, I thought she was gonna freak out!!! Did she?? NO!!! She is IN LOVE with it!!!! She has been playing with it all morning!! She sticks her fingers in the cage & it will nibble on her fingers and she just giggles!!! And she pushes the cage around the living room like a baby in a stroller!! She has the time of her life with that rat!!! I hope she wont be too heart broken when we get rid of it :(


One down..... many more to come!

Riley had her first birthday party this past Saturday! It was a lot of fun! And so much fun to see Riley having fun! Here are some pics! Enjoy!!!

First I do have to post what her birthday attire was! B/C I worked hard on it (not really) but she was so stinkin cute!!!

The Guests....

The Cake eating.... (and the many kisses I got!!!)

And the presents....

The end!